September 2, 2003
Far Too Cranky for Anyone's Good
I am a cranky little girl today. Or at least I was starting at about 2:48pm today. Maybe earlier.
Even though I crammed all of my AP European History summer reading into one week (and they said it could not be done, pshaw) I scored a 97% on my test. Boo-ya. It should have been more like a 92 or an 87 because I completely b.s.ed one question, but I was accurate so full points on that one. Life can be so nice sometimes.
I love being in Cave's class again and I do not think he minds me being in his class too much either.
For every story in my journalism class, I am supposed to "localize" it. It is probably supposed to be a way of discouraging me from writing on foreign affairs but I need some kind of mental stimulation and I want to build up a strong portfolio, so localizing translates into interviewing a teacher in the history department and getting his or her opinion on the current event. Most times I interview Cave because I have known him since my freshman year and I went on his Europe trip the summer before my junior year. So before class today I asked Cave if it would be ok if I asked him a few questions for my article on Iraq. No problem.
In the middle of class he mentioned something about my article, asking me if the readers of The Ravine (my school newspaper) would be interested in reading about international support of the occupation and resconstruction of Iraq. I replied that I did not care if the readers were interested, I was certain that my portfolio was. "Nice." Later on he said something about it being nice to see a little bit of substance written every now and then.
So whether you know it or not WKHS, you kind of need me. And until I have another venue that has to print what I write, I guess I need WKHS too. It is love-hate all the way, though.
I am almost done talking about journalism for today, but one last thing before I finish: my plan right now is to try to become one of the layout editors for the year so I will have an editing position along with building my portfolio. Besides, someone has to do it and I do not know too many other people that are as anal-retentive as I am to spend the time necessary (including free periods, I am such a loser when it comes to the things I love) to layout every issue. And as a special dorky bonus feature, I am nearly positive I am the only person on staff who has a key to get into the room for whenever I should need to. ::bows::
What I love and hate about my senior year is that I have so much stuff going on. I like that my classes are challenging and keep me busy because I always feel like there is something extremely wrong when I am not doing at least a few hours of homework a night. Stress reminds me that I am alive and all of that, a life of relaxation would bore me to tears. I am such an uptight Personality A person sometimes that I wonder if one of these days Martha Stewart is going to tell me to relax on the details.
But it is taking me a little bit of time to adjust to juggling and remembering all of my responsibilities. Mostly the responsibilities that I am trying to balance are my classes (it still sounds a bit insane to me that I am taking four AP classes), going above the bar for journalism, Prospice, and work. Work is the least stressful aspect of my life, I just do not have a difficult job and happily I do not have too many hours. I can get a real job this summer, for now I want to focus on my Academics and school activities. Rawr.
But I have not really explained my crankiness yet.
I am quasi-dieting right now, but I need to remember to get more liquids. That with a few other factors made me into quite the nutcase in the school parking lot today.
From what I hear, the school parking lot at the end of the day is less than a joy under any circumstances. Today my circumstances included being assigned Latin homework that required me to go get my book that I did not have time to go get, finding out I need to get some reading done in Euro at an unexpected time, being dismissed from class late to make my high school escape even more hellish and having to manuever my mother's car because mine was at the shop. I drive a tiny sports car and my mom's car feels like a tank in comparison, plus its expensive nature had me ultra-paranoid about the teenage drivers that surround me.
Plus I just had the wrong guy in front of me. The guy who keeps on letting people in when all you want to do is leave. I see letting one person in as kindness, but letting in any more than one person can only be perceived as direct cruelty to me. I madly flipped the radio stations looking for something that would make me happy or at least something I could sing along to, but no luck. Goddamnit, where was "Amsterdam" when I needed it? That would have been a perfect time.
Then the budget cuts are starting to get to me in that two of my classes are just way too big. What is even more annoying is that they are two of the classes I was looking forward to the most and really like having more individual attention. English classes should be small, people should get to know each other and come to a point where they feel relatively comfortable sharing their work because they know the people in the room and they do not have to live in fear that they will be attacked for a faulty sentence or something.
There is no trust in my English rooms and I have no idea how that is going to be cultivated. I do not know if it even can be and that is just a tragedy. What a lousy way to end my high school experience. What a fantastic reason to be happy to be leaving high school at the end of this year.
If I could just figure out a way to make my seventh period more productive in some fashion so I would not feel like I was wasting my time, without feeling too anti-social, I think my life would improve significantly. Getting my homework done is not enough to make for good time management, I have to feel my free time with something that makes me feel like a worth-while human being. I would write there but something about the mold and leaking ceilings zaps most of the creativity from my bones.
What scares me is I fear that if given the option, I would sometimes jump at the chance to take life as a correspondance course. I need to fight against those anti-social urges of mine and work on developing an appreciation for the people that surround me.
As everything is, easier said than done.
Oh, and it bothers me to no end when people I love demonstrate horrendous taste. Way to disappoint.
Love,
Mandy