May 10, 2004
Stop Immortality, At Least On the Radio
I just did a radio survey, five minutes I will probably never get back. But I think it is for the best, and when I say that I mean it is in my own self-interest; if I can stop one radio station from playing "My Immortal" I feel like it will be time well spent. Good god that song is annoying.
If I were more of a drinker my floors would be sticky, not with oh-so-glorious bodily fluids but with champagne bubbles because MY AP EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER. In other words, most of my AP classes will be bearable and I can start to do things like read for fun again. Unfortunately I think my novel attempt is still on hiatus, but I should be able to journal and write poetry more, and that just helps my mental health in all kinds of ways.
The other day I sent a poem to one of my friends to check out, only because it felt like it was really good as soon as I finished writing it. The friend wrote back that the poem seemed very different from a lot of my old writing and since the friend knows that some of myself into my writing and this tone was completely different.
I think part of the reason I have been so at ease during my AP exams, at least for me, is that a. most of the proctors have been from my elementary school and b. there is usually at least one person who I think is all kinds of fantastic sitting near me.
In my Calc exam it was Charlie, who is just a character, and Rob, who got my "psyched" for my exam. I love having people to make faces at, it relieves some kind of tension.
My Euro exam had tons of people and at the end I got to boast that ::gasp:: I did not choose the feminism essay, to the great shock and dismay of all. I am not anywhere close to well educated when it comes to feminism (which I almost emphasized there by spelling it incorrectly), it is just that most of it is intuitive and there is some information that, as a female, I feel like I should just know. This summer I want to read The Second Sex and/or The Feminine Mystique to help get rid of that nasty ignorance feeling.
Bio was all about the current crush and making fun of others, then getting out early. Yay!
I do however I do, the worst case scenario requires me to take the class again in college, which just means I will have one less class to stress out about while easing into my college lifestyle. It's win-win from my perspective, I am not even sure if I am going to use my credits that I have earned even if I have the chance too.
I am going to graduate without completely knowing the high school experience, since I have never gone to prom. I have been told I will regret it later, but I figure any bitterness can be put to good use in getting me a book deal somewhere along the lines. I fail to appreciate most of the high school experiences that are supposed to send my hands up in surrender to uncontrollable joy anyway.
Plus I got two new pairs of shoes this weekend, which matters more to me at this point. If I had gone to prom, I would have wanted to go with someone I was romantically entangled with and no such person exists. There is no one I even want to realistically become entangled with, either. Plus a lot of other logistics would have been a huge nightmare, so I would want someone else I could happily weather the storm with...away from everyone else. And maybe do not nice-girl things.
No one cares, moving on.
I discovered the livejournal of a guy I have had a thing for on and off the past two years of high school. Reading through it made him a lot more interesting to me, at least in some ways. All in all I think this is a good thing, since it seems that far too often the more I get to know a guy the less I want to know more about him.
There should be some kind of law about how sons of Smith grads should only be able to date Smith girls. The law would not have to be federal or state, really I am just looking for some community support. Where is the civic association when I really need it, huh?
I love that my mind can be mushy again for a bit.
Love,
Mandy