November 18, 2003
Someone Else is Insecure for Once
Oh frustration!
I have always had a sort of love-hate relationship with my journalism class. I love writing articles and diving deeper into issues so I can acquire some kind of competence about world events, but the whole 'teamwork' element stretches any goodness in my soul to the very brink. That is probably a mixed metaphor. What can I say, I am stressed.
Ok, not really. Just slightly confused and appalled.
Somehow the issue of our newspaper came up in my Latin class, I think someone started talking about an article on the hockey team that really blasted the underclassmen and built the seniors up as the apostles. Then someone asked me what I thought about one of the reporters and I just said that he was coming on the D.C. trip. I was informed that said reporter did not like me at all, something about how my articles cover things no one cares about (I refuse to cater to my peers)and are too Catholic.
I think it all stems from SAT scores, to be honest. Several of us received our scores on the same day and I told a mutual friend my scores and she insisted that I go up to him and tell him I did better. At the time I just thought it was silly competition that meaned nothing but now I am starting to wonder.
Then part of me wonders if it has something to do with the fact that I am a girl. I received a letter today from Smith saying that I was an excellent "match." If I were slightly delusional I would say that at least at a women's college girls appreciate each other's talents and support each other. But it's bullshit. Some do, but then some guys are extremely supportive of me. Pettiness is not gender sensitive and girls are even bitchier about it than guys are, often enough.
I am still shocked that I managed to get under his skin that much. One of his old friends is assuring me that he is insecure, jealous, and generally a "baby." Someone teased him about a bad grade he received on a paper and he would not talk to her for TWO days. It was just teasing.
I am tempted to be immature and talk about current events non-stop and brag about my Smith letter, but I feel more comfortable not doing all that. The most I will do is right a few more sentences in my diary about how he is investing too much of his self-image into his penis size or some other feminist-type hatred along those lines (my apologies to all feminists, but yeah), then move on. I have other things to focus on and obviously not everyone is going to love me, let alone like me, and if I am going to let my world shatter when I reach a little opposition then a real public persona like I am looking for in journalism will be a real rude awakening.
Meanwhile, yay for Massachusetts giving same-sex couples the legal entitlement to get married! I am debating with a Republican friend of mine whether this is a good or a bad thing. The good news is that I have no problem respecting him because he is educated on his stance and he is willing to admit when he is wrong. I try to do the same. He also said that while homosexuality is condemned in the bible, homosexuals are not. We somehow ended up discussing economic policy and some of our other political differences. Intellectual indulgement is so satisfying.
Love,
Mandy