March 27, 2004
Scholarly Struggles
I am unsure of where I should begin exactly, so let's start in the middle and see where we end up.
I got into Smith and they offered me a research grant, I would get $13,000 over four years to do research for seven hours a week, approximately. This would guarantee a close relationship with at least one faculty member (hello grad school recommendation letters, I am forever doomed to be staring far too intently into the distant future) and Smith definitely cultivates more of an intellectual/artsy environment. But there is the whole all girls element and more heavily weighed upon my mind is the fact that...
Syracuse gave me the scholarship. I am going to be treated like a queen if I go, not having to pay for much of anything and all kinds of opportunities at my disposal. I talked to one of the guys from admissions, he called my house twice while I was in Las Vegas, and he told me what i already knew through the mail and also several other flattering things. He said that it was a tough decision, except when it came to me; they knew that they wanted me. He also said that my professor, who I considered to be a great man before he said this, said in the committee that after talking to me for three minutes he felt like I was already a college student AND that I was one of the most personally and intellectually agile people he had ever met. Besides the ego stroking, New House is one of the premier journalism schools in the country and S. I. Newhouse owns Vogue, The New Yorker, and Vanity Fair. One of my humble little dreams is to intern or work at Vogue, where I can be abused for a year or two while picking things out of the closet to console me. My tears can fall on Prada heels, etc.
Las Vegas was quite wonderful, I enjoyed sun and shows. Lots of great comedy, I went to Second City for the second time and loved it just as much, except this time I was extremely attracted to one of the performers. I also checked out the Improv. It was just generally relaxing, one of the most humorous moments from my point of view was on one of the shuttles, when a guy tried to start a conversation with me and I uttered so few words he must have thought I did not speak the language. On one turn he leaned in and never moved.
In other words, the heat makes guys hard up. I definitely spent a lot of time looking like shit because the cigar smoke agitated my eyes and still quite cute guys were smiling at me. I do not count the older men who are so delerious from the roulette wheel and cocktail waitresses that any females look cozy.
Any opinions on what I should do for my future will definitely be considered but may also be ignored. My opinion changes from day to day.
On the bright side, I also learned who the other scholarship winners are. My roommate did not get it but the guys that I really liked and connected with were given the award, along with the girl I wrote should get the award in addition to me. I am especially excited that Alexei (sp?) was given the award, he wants to be a peacekeeper in the Middle East and if I go to Syracuse I really hope he does too because I think we could be good friends. Same goes for Tom, a political science guy, who loves to debate politics.
And that I am most looking forward to the guys I know at Syracuse scares me a little about Smith. To be honest.
Love,
Mandy