July 23, 2003
Life is Too Short...But Not For Newsies!
Cliches can be incredibley accurate and we can say them until our cheeks turn blue for the effort, but that does not necessarily mean we believe them or take them to heart.
"Life is too short for this," one of my friends said today at lunch, referring to a dispute she was having with a few people.
How many times have we all said that to ourselves? Nine times out of ten when I am stressed about something I could look at the situation and diagnose it as something that could be easily remedied by remember "Life is too short."
Then the natural follow-up question is what situations is life not too short for?
It all breaks down to priorities.
My number one priority is myself. Screw it if I am selfish or self-centered, at least I am honest. I love my friends and family, but if I do not look out for myself who will? If I do not give a shit about myself how can I count on anyone else to do it for me? So I look out for myself. In doing this I try to always give myself what I need and as much of what I want as I can. If what I want causes too much conflict I do not work as hard for it but I cannot promise that I altogether forget it.
My next priority, as I see it, is people. Especially people I love. I would keep my cell phone on for all hours in case anyone should need me if not for the fact that I receive spam text messages like nobody's business that ring and thus wake me up. I will not be waken up for debt consolidation. Still if any of my friends (who are the main people who come to me) need to talk or whatever else, emphasis on need, I will drop everything I am doing to the best of my ability to help.
I consider my purpose and a lot of my identity to be derived from my work, at this point my academics, but it only ranks number three on my list of priorities. It is highly important to me but I can never see it coming before people whose feelings can be hurt or my own needs. I would say that I never let academics interfere with my health because in most cases this is true, but I am such an anxious person that on occassion I have allowed my schoolwork to make me physically ill. It is not pretty but it happens.
As far as god goes, I am going to go with the philosophy of "God is everywhere," so you can place God amongst all of my priorities if you would like. Once I start listing much more than three priorities I feel like I am diminishing the importance of those at the top. These three priorities are my focus.
Speaking of needs a few paragraphs back, I wonder what it is that makes so many of us not necessarily need but definitely crave drama. If it is to make life more exciting, I would like to know where it became the case that misery translates into amazement and racing hearts. Once in the thick of most acts of drama my heart does anything but race in exhileration. If anything my heart races to get away from the damn situation as quickly as possible.
There is a question on the Northwestern application asking about a book or a movie that you are reluctant to admit liking, then to explain why. I may have mentioned this before. I do not even know if I want to apply to Northwestern yet but I have been mulling over the question nonetheless. What books or movies am I ashamed of liking?
What I finally rested on, and I do not know if I will stay on this, is the movie Newsies. I watched the movie in my middle school Choir class, but it was not the first time I had seen it. Ohh no. I was one of the twenty-five people that saw the movie in the theater. And I LOVED it. I still do to this day. I know it is not considered to be a very good movie and it is not cool to like musicals produced anytime between West Side Story and Moulin Rouge, with an exception or two. Newsies was not considered one of the exceptions, though.
I cannot put my finger on what I love so much about it. It is probably a couple of things. I think the songs are fantastic and there is something that most Americans love about underdog stories. I also have a major thing for Christian Bale. Umm, when he sings "Sante Fe" I could easily climb on the back of his horse and ride off into the sunset or wherever else he wants to take me. Too bad he is far too old for me even in my fantasy mind.
Besides, I grew up on musicals. I own most of the movies in the Rodgers and Hammerstein collection. My favorite movie growing up was Mary Poppins, corny/fake looking birds and all. I always wanted the green medicine and fancied taking a spin around with the penguins and Dick Van Dyke. Chim Chimmeney indeed.
Enough reminiscing and mulling and everything else. More social engagements and spreading the wonder that is Mandy around the Columbus area.
And to think, all of this is me sober and completely drug free. I wonder what kind of revelations I would have when high. Oh well, something to explore in college.
Love,
Mandy
P.S. This is my 700th entry! Wow!