June 8, 2004
Perhaps Buckeye At Heart
For the first time I started to feel sad about leaving Ohio.
The other night when I went to a party for strangers and entirely composed of strangers someone the drummer of the band asked me where I was going to school. When I told him I would be in Massachusetts he asked me if I really hated Ohio that much. I just kind of shrugged my shoulders.
Then tonight I rediscovered someone who moved away for most of high school and chatted with him and one of his friends for quite a long time. I will admit he got cuter, but that is not all that is relevant, since it is likely we still would not hang out even if we were in the same state. But his friend something about how they can still stay in contact and hang out and I realized that I do not get to consider that with most people. Except for breaks, there will be no "hanging out" with people from high school.
And I know that I have made it seem for many years that this is exactly how I want it, but I am beginning to think that graduation parties are made to torture people. Not only in stretching small talk to limits that it should never be stretched, but also forcing me to realize just how much I am going to miss having some of these people in the periphery.
On a more humorous note to point out how much I have not managed to adapt to Ohio life in my 18+ years, I sported stilettos to a party tonight and had to start pressing down the balls of my feet to keep my heels from continually sinking into the lawn. So now the ground can breathe, I guess.
Love,
Mandy