August 3, 2003
Autopsy
Another transferred update from Northwestern
This was originally posted on August 3, 2003.
I have never been so personally offended as I was last night. I probably should have written about this then but I was too upset.
All week I had been worried about getting to mass, so Thomas volunteered to come with me to mass, even though he is not Catholic. I was telling Shayne about it and she told me that there are not any churches for her around here, then asked about how mass goes. I told her and she said she would also come with me. She wanted to know what to wear, so I went to my room (diagonally across the hall) to grab what I was planning on wearing.
I came back with a skirt and tank top in my hands to see my roommate, Eve, sitting on Shayne's bed. I kind of liked that I had been hanging out with Shayne on my own, but my thought was something along the lines of eh...whatever.
Eve asked what the outfit was for and I told her mass. Shayne invited her to come along and she said no thanks, then compared going to Catholic mass to going to an autopsy.
She compared a service of my religion to a fucking autopsy.
Eve then continued to try to persuade Shayne not to go, saying that Catholic mass is really boring and "Well, you know, some people like autopsies." Is that a death wish? Sorry, that was immature.
I walked out of the room and went pretty directly to Thomas' room. "I need to rant," I told him. Then I told him what happened and how it was so offensive and inappropriate and just entirely disrespectful of not only my beliefs, but me. It was just so uncalled for. Thomas agreed about it being entirely inappropriate. Holy shit, doesn't everyone know not to insult other people's religions directly to them? Who the fuck asked for her opinion? Certainly not me.
Then I went to Carmen to talk about it because the night before we had talked about how the novelty of our roommates was starting to wear off. She agreed with me too and said she would have acted out a lot more than I did. I joked that I would pray for Eve (though I probably will, along with myself) and said something that caught the attention of Talia and Adrienne, who were also in the room.
I started crying then. They hugged me and Talia told me she knew exactly how I felt. Another guy, Matt, was in the room. Matt is Polish and Catholic and after hearing the comment, he just scoffed and said that was so inaccurate. He started telling me it just shows Eve's ignorance and that I will always have to deal with ignorant people.
Does anyone else find it extremely ironic that I am at a camp for the talented and gifted discussing the ignorance of my roommate? She is going to have to pull her act together if she wants to go to college anyplace outside of her rural Michigan, that stuff will not fly. I understand that a lot of people are too politically correct, but she was downright offensive.
Talia also told me that inevitabley we are all going to run into ignorant people who do not respect us, but what is important is we respect ourselves.
Through our chat I also learned that The Lion King (the cartoon at least) is extremely racist. And homophobic.
I also talked to my RTA and she immediately told me that I did not deserve to hear that and told me she would do anything I needed her to do.
I just cannot figure out why my roommate felt the need to say what she did or dissuade Shayne from going to mass with me. I am not sure if I want to know, but I should in the spirit of wanting to get to know others.
Before that I had a good night. Poor Carmen was not feeling well, so Thomas and I navigated the L and bus system to go to Virgin Megastore, where they were selling a bunch of CDs for $10. I bought Hello by Poe (Haunted was not only not on sale, it was over-priced) and Exile in Guyville by Liz Phair. Liz Phair's new CD had been playing at Virgin and it is less than great though I enjoy parts of it. The guy at the register complimented me on my selection and talked about what a classic it was, then the guy at the next register came over and told me that he always plays a song off of Exile in Guyville as the first CD in every new car he gets.
Another positive note: we were on the bus when a man was trying to get on, so a passenger told the bus driver and we stopped for him. How nice is it that people watch out for each other? Especially in Chicago, where compassion like that is considered to be a novelty.
As far the non-Catholics coming with me, I want to make it clear they volunteered to come. I am not trying to convert people nor do I want to. Even if I was, the autopsy description was way off base.
I feel a lot better about it now but I was still crying softly last night. She apologized but I do not know if she really gets it and I know I will not forget it. I may write to one of the Deacons at home for his advice/comfort, it feels like the appropriate thing to do. Some things just cannot be apologized away. I just am not sure how I want to go on from here.
Love,
Mandy