December 11, 2003
No Starving Madness for This Generation
The future makes me all flushed and smiles like nothing else. Today there were a rush of acceptance letters, apparently. I got into Ohio University, damn all my other colleges for not having rolling admissions and driving me crazy until April, so at least I know that I am in college somewhere.
But that is not the most exciting stuff at all.
So far I think I know four people who got into their first choice colleges. It makes me so excited for them. One of them dreamed about going to Duke since always, and I know she was worried because she moved away from North Carolina and feared the competition, but thanks to her phenomenonal talents and intellect she will be there in the Fall. Another friend worried about getting into Xavier and she is in (though she is not sure if she is able to go there yet); yet another got into the University of Dayton and was ecstatic and relieved. Another girl I used to work with got into Columbia.
It is soo great! As much as I despise my high school, I am extremely proud of my class most of the time. We have a great mix of people who are intelligent, passionate, creative, and talented in all kinds of ways that would blow your mind. Especially when my classs is compared to the class that just graduated, with many students only applying to OSU or OU because they did not want to get their hopes up or were financially strapped or just not otherwise ambitious. But my class is ambitious and we have big dreams and I believe that a lot of us are going to realize them.
Personally I am happy that I can be happy for these other people instead of being jealous. Then again, it is easy to be a good person because they are all getting into colleges I did not apply to so I do not have to feel paranoid about my own status. Yes, I am selfish. Blah blah blah.
But hearing about other people's success and talking to my mentor today also made me realize that whether or not I get into Georgetown is not as important to me as I thought it was. If I get in it is a great opportunity, but I am falling in love with the idea of going to Smith or Northwestern or Syracuse or Emerson or Barnard or any of the other schools I applied to. I am especially in love with Smith right now, though; I am impressed with how they emphasize the fact they are investing in me as an individual.
A few weeks ago Christian started talking about how next fall he will go to Amherst and I will go to Smith because it is close to Amherst. So he decided. Now Sheila is starting to love Tufts, so I may have four years of supreme happiness headed my way. It really is a kind of ideal situation; we all build independent lives at different schools but we can hang out every once in a while when we get homesick or desperately miss each other. There will not be any pressure, only love.
I am overly anxious for the future, to be honest. When I talked to one of my English teachers about college, he told me that I was probably ready to go to college my freshman year in high school. Though it is complimentary and difficult to really find the truth of the comment, somedays it does feel that way.
Ohh, but I am excited about the nearer future. I talked to my Latin teacher today and she agreed to let me take the class independent study next semester so I can stop driving myself crazy in class. If for some reason I cannot get the paper work sorted out, she promised to put me on an accelerated track where I could do work from the next level so I would stop being so frustrated. I only wanted to drop the class (and even said that I would on some college applications) because I hate having an eighth period class where I am bored; this way I can learn even more Latin and progress. I actually do love the language and how it ties into English, though in college I will probably go back to studying French.
Ahh, college. The sky is the limit.
I am also looking forward to the holiday break. I got the book Kinflicks from the library and I cannot wait to read it.
This morning I went to go my mentor some truffles for writing my college recommendations and to talk to her about books and life and everything else. We both agreed that Sylvia Plath is more compelling in personality than penwork, though we both did enjoy The Bell Jar. I also like Sylvia Plath's journals, which are literature in many ways; some of her poetry I enjoy but for me it is sometimes uneven. But I am in no means a literary critic nor do I claim to be. It is just my simple preference.
All that jazz about how my generation not being able to surpass the achievement of our parents is wrong. I attend classs with the future, and once we start correcting the mistakes of our forefathers (we are going to do it), this world may start to be a wonderful place after all. If I can only do one thing for my generation, I am going to try to carry enough optimism and ego for all of us.
Because you know what? We care, we think, and we rock. Some of us get deterred right now, but give us some time and we will focus and be amazing.
Cut the babyboomer ego and everything else, we can be the greatest generation. The world is getting more competitive as it tightens and connects and we are rising to the challenge.
Love,
Mandy