July 14, 2003
Sassy and Soon To Be in Stilettos
Warning: This entry is super girly. At least the first couple of paragraphs are.
I am quite excited about the dinner for Kenji tomorrow night. On a whim of sorts Kim and I decided that the affair should be dressy so after much bitching and coaxing and bribing the guys will be wearing ties. The girls were no problem, we all like dressing up for the most part. Some of us are quite excited.
Personally I am excited because this means that the dress that I love but thought I would never get to wear out of the house will be taken out tomorrow night. With my stiletto heels. If I had a sex life to gab about I could pretend I was on Sex and the City. The reality is my life is All Talk and Cowtown.
The syndication should come through any day now.
It turns out that working and taking Benadryl wears me out a lot more than I thought it would. I enjoy that Benadryl comes in happy hot pink pills, when I feel like it I can pretend it is something more exotic/illegal. Currently my conscience and paranoia prevents me from doing anything too risky. Plus I am not sure if it is the kind of risk I really want to be taking. I need to be sure that I want to do that kind of thing for myself rather than let someone else decide what goes in my body.
In life there are only so many places where I have control. I rule the places I control with an iron fist, or at least I try to. Once I read Machiavelli for AP Euro I should kick ass at this.
Tomorrow is my mom's surgery. Again I am asking for everyone to send good thoughts her way.
The other day I was brushing my teeth and I started wondering why it was that some people get so worried before surgery. I knew what it was but I blocked it out. Emphasis on blocked in the past tense, because I let down whatever was blocking the horrible and heartbreaking notions and I started crying into my Crest. I am sure it will all go well, though it is too bad that my mom cannot express any of her worries to me because she puts her role as mom before he role as person.
Putting the cart in front of the horses, I know.
If I were in a more thoughtful mood I would go into a long speech about how most women are expected to put being a wife and mother ahead of being a human being. Or they are supposed to put their career first. Then I would think about it more and realize that almost everyone is expected to fulfill many roles in their life and being a human being usually comes dead last on the list of priorities. There are plenty of speeches given and books written and therapy sessions centered around the idea that it is important for the feelings of humans to be appreciated, etc.
But most of the time enough of us do not consider it to be worthwhile to consider how others feel. Emotions tend to fall under the ineffecient category. With a poor economy, Bush in the White House, and the world going to hell in general (hypberbole, here, folks) there is no room for anything ineffecient or waste of any kind. Remember, Bush is the White House?
I must say I am feeling quite sassy tonight. I hope my sassiness will carry me through until Wednesday. I am so much more fun (to myself at least) when I am sassy.
Love,
Mandy